Interactive Session 3 – Round 1

17 Nov

Welcome to the third interactive session of the Miracle Bond! In this session we have poems by Catherine Ayres and Lesley Crigger  in response to our Sonnet Writing Task .Remember, the last day to submit your entries for this activity is 23rd November 2012. We will have another round of this interactive session tomorrow. All those members whose works come in before the tomorrow’s round, will be displayed in the tomorrow’s interactive session. Do not forget to post in your views!

1.Counting Cars- Catherine Ayres

We used to count cars, my brother and me,
Some yellow, some red, some blue and some green,
We’d pick a colour and then we would be
Excited to count the cars we had seen.
I always picked red, you always picked blue,
Wistfully watched as the cars shimmered past,
I was only eight but already knew
That long afternoons were not meant to last.
Thirty years later, your present my past
And my past your future – who would have known
That patterns in childhood don’t always last,
And things that define us can be outgrown.
The game that we played was simply untrue,
I’m always red but you’ll never be blue.
2.Game of Life – Lesley Crigger
The game you couldn’t win, the game you never playedFor fear of the courage that you lack;

Out of the game and toward the back you stayed

Hidden like the unseen cards of the shuffled pack.

 

More ambitious, more skillful, more clever-

Those that played the game and those that played it well;

Made good of the fatuous endeavor,

But you never played for fear you would fail

 

To high, you said was the cost,

From ludicrous games I will refrain;

You said, thinking of all that could be lost;

Nowleft to ponder what you did not gain.

 

The game you wouldn’t amuse- the one you shun;

The game you didn’t play was the game you could’ve won.

 

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9 Responses to “Interactive Session 3 – Round 1”

  1. Lesley November 17, 2012 at 7:29 pm #

    Catherine,
    Great Job! I really enjoy the flow of this poem and the way it rolls smoothly off the tongue. What are great memoir.

    MiracleBond,
    I do wish you’d crittique like you first did 😉

    • Catherine Ayres November 18, 2012 at 7:25 pm #

      Thank you Lesley. U like the words you have used in your poem. I think it would flow even better if you used ten syllables per line.

  2. Natasha November 21, 2012 at 2:34 am #

    @Catherine Ayres- I like how your poem had a child-like appeal to it- in other ways I which some of the context had richer words. I think it was a pretty cute and sweet poem!

    • Catherine Ayres November 25, 2012 at 9:22 pm #

      thank you – I was aiming for a very simple tone but I agree – I could use some richer imagery. I was so keen to get the sonnet form right that the structure took up most of my time. Maybe next attempt I’ll be able to add more imagery.

  3. Shanice Blackwood November 21, 2012 at 7:20 pm #

    @ Lesley, i love the idea your poem sends across, in this life we have so much fear wondering if we can do this or that. but in fact we have yet to fully understand our own potential and we’re missing out on a lot of new, exciting adventures. @Catherine, the simplicity of your poem is a good attribute as the words have so much meaning. it really is a sweet and touching poem.

    • Natasha Pasch November 26, 2012 at 4:10 pm #

      @ Lesley–great poem- it flowed well and had a sense of regret of the past of which you could have been a part over- hopefully you learned from the past and now have the courage to do things to make yourself happy, intead of thinking of all the things that could go wrong just because you may be bad at a few things—having more fun is important, not only winning! great little poem to make people and yourself realize that they should discover their potential and their own being!

  4. miracleezine November 25, 2012 at 4:52 pm #

    @catherine it is a perfect poem with a childlike tone to it which further gives it a touch if simplicity . We love your couplet at the end, it gives a very smooth end to the poem.

    • Catherine Ayres November 25, 2012 at 9:22 pm #

      thank you very much. I enjoyed having a go at a sonnet and I wanted it to be childlike and a bit poignant.

  5. miracleezine November 25, 2012 at 4:56 pm #

    @lesley the concept of this whole poem is really nice and you have successfully put across your point. We would like you boil down some words and make the lines of 10 syllables each for a better flow.

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